MPPandL, Meet Harry Potter in The Sorcerer's Stone
by Suicidal Tears
Summary: What happens when Remus, Sirius, James and Lily get a hold of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone?
1. Default Chapter

"Are you sure this is safe, James?" asked Lily.

"Sure," he said, grinning, "Sirius and I have done this loads of times. Right?"

"S'long as you don't drink it, nothing bad can come of it," he said.

"Then what's the point of it?" asked Lily. "You'll just ruin a perfectly good potion that I spent about two months working on!"

"Lily," said Sirius, shaking his shaggy bangs from his eyes, "you made enough of the family linage potion stuff to last the ministry over five years."

"Don't exaggerate that much, Sirius. It was more like two."

"James Potter!" she said, slapping him.

Sirius laughed. "Sometimes, if you put the right things in, you can make something. Once, we put a made a simple truth potion and put in a picture of you and James and some of his hair and a green crayon for your eyes and we got this really cute picture of a little baby boy with messy black hair and bright vivid eyes!" he said in a little voice and voice his displeasure when both a red James and red Lily smacked him.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Nothing. Come _on _Lily! It's the third day of summer break before our last year at Hogwarts and we're already bored! You are, too! You have to admit it!"

Lily shrugged. "I may be bored, but that doesn't mean I want to risk getting expelled or killed."

"We can legally do magic now, and my parents have this potions room where the cauldron is surrounded by this really powerful spell that prevents the potion from coming out. I had them duplicate it in my study."

"Stop bragging, James. We all know you're families rich. You don't need to rub it in."

"Don't forget, Sirius," said James, "my parents even proposed to adopting you! You have your own room here, still, but it'd be finalized!"

"James, for the last time: I don't need your pity!"

"I'm not giving out my pity! I'm just-"

"Hey!" said Lily, who'd been trying to get their attention, "let's go make that potion, whatever it'll turn out to be."

"Alright!" said James and Sirius together, their conversation just moments ago all forgotten about.

"What did you add so far, Sirius?" asked James as he put in a green crayon.

He growled. "About fifty green crayons. I think I spit in there, too. Then I plucked out about five of yours and Lily's hairs each and put in the picture of the baby."

"Sirius," said Lily, threateningly.

"Just kidding, just kidding!" he said quickly.

"I put in some chopped up bat wings, some elf blood and some fairy wings," he said.

"Interesting combination. Any particular reason?"

"Unbeknownst to thou, some of us are interested in potions, said Lily, who put in an empty book. Even though she wouldn't admit it, she really was having fun.

"What you put the book in there for, Lily?" asked a puzzled James.

"What you put the green crayon in there for?" she asked back.

He mumbled a reply something of the sort: I like your green eyes.

"Aww! How sweet," said Sirius, who was putting in an empty picture frame. He then proceeded to spill the ink that he was pouring is as Lily and James both smacked him again.

"Again with the smacking!" he said. "And what was with the old time talk?"

"Muggle novel I'm reading," said Lily and put in a lily that she had just conjured up. James then came over with three goblets of pumpkin juice he had gotten from a chilled container on the other side of the room. He poured in about half of his before saying, "cheers," and drinking heartily from his own cup.

Just as they were getting done, the potion, which had turned a bright shade of green, suddenly began to bubble and boil over the sides.

"See?" said James, "all safe."

The three just stood and watched the cauldron. James and Sirius ooed when the potion started to admit fireworks and sparkles of green, silver, gold, red, and white.

"It would be pretty," said Lily, "scratch the fact that it's coming from a potion we brewed."

"And the fact that there's Slytherin colors," muttered Sirius.

Lily ignored it this once and then watched as the potion emitted a bright white light. Once the light had cleared, she saw James and Sirius moving toward the cauldron.

"What's in it?" she asked.

"A book," said Sirius. James picked it up.

"What's it say?" asked Lily and Sirius at the same time as James mouth slacked open.

After a few moments of no response, Lily walked up behind him, asking, "what's wrong, James?"

Then she read the title aloud, mouth dropping in disbelief: "Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone."


	2. Chapter One, part one

"Whoa, James! Do you have a little brother or something that we don't know about?" asked Sirius, jumping up and down with excitement.

"No," said James, "I'm the last Potter."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Read it!" said Sirius.

"It could be dangerous," said Lily.

"If it was, the spell my parents put on it wouldn't let me be able to get it out," said James slowly.

"Yeah, remember Lily? The spell his parents put on!"

"Just shut it, Sirius!" said James. "Let's go back to my room and then we'll read it there."

So the three of them made their way to James' room. James sat on his bed, Lily cuddled up on his side and Sirius took his bed.

"So read it already! What are you waiting for?" said Sirius very excitedly.

"The Boy Who Lived," said James.

"Well, that's a stupid name of a first chapter," said Sirius dully.

"Just shut it, Sirius," said Lily and got more comfortable.

"Snippy," he said.

"**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley-**"

"What names," mumbled Sirius.

"**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,**" started James, "**of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, than you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**"

"**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**"

"What're drills?" asked Sirius.

Lily sighed. "They're the things that is used to screw in screws."

"Wow. No dictionary definition?" said Sirius.

"No," she snuffed. "Keep reading."

James raised an eyebrow and kept reading. "**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on their neighbors.**"

"Sure wouldn't like them as my neighbor," mumbled James.

"Neither would I!" said Sirius and made a face.

"**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**"

"Dudley! Who would honestly name their son Dudley?" asked Sirius.

"**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**"

"Hey!" said James. "What's wrong with us?"

"James," said Lily soothingly, "they may not be talking about your family of Potters."

James growled and continued to read on. "** Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because he sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDurleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that."**

"Why would their oaf of a son want to be 'mixing' with a Potter anyways!" said Sirius.

"just keep reading," said Lily.

"**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts-"**

"Finally," muttered Sirius. "Ow! What did I do?"

"Just shut up and let James read!" said Lily with a gruff.

"**There was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country."**

"Da da dum!" said Sirius with a grin.

"Shut it!" said Lily, taking a pillow.

"Hey guys," said Remus and walked into James' room. "What're you doing?"

"Reading!" said Sirius.

Remus eyebrows shot up. "Reading? What would you possibly be reading?"

James held up the book so Remus could read it.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone? Who is this Potter?"

"We haven't gotten very far," said Lily.

"Someone keeps stopping us," finished James, shooting an evil eye at Sirius.

"What'd I miss?" he asked, taking out his wand and conjuring up a comfortable looking chair next to James bed.

"How rude the Dursleys are," said Sirius, "and the fact that they really hate the Potters."

Lily sighed. "As I said, they might not even be related to James!"

"On a first name basis, are we?" asked Remus.

Lily blushed and snuggled closer to James, shoving her face in his sweatshirt. "He's comfy!" she mumbled.

Remus and Sirius laughed and James looked puzzled.

"Just- read," said Remus.

"**Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair."**

"They don't sound like very pleasing people," stated Remus.

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window."**

Sirius gasped. "They can't be wizards!" he shouted.

"The understatement of the century," agreed James and kept reading.

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls."**

"See, now," said Lily. Sirius looked at her. "What?"

"You interrupted James' reading!" he accused.

"Well, I was just going to say, my children are never going to behave like that! Now, keep reading. James rolled his eyes.

" "**Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of the number four's drive.**

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something perculiar—a cat reading a map."**

"That would be McGonagall," said Remus.

"Who said that she's in the book?" asked Lily.

"Well, if she was in the book-"

"Which she's not," said Sirius, "I get enough of her during school."

"-_if _she was, that cat would be her."

"Can I continue?" asked James, watching the bickering continue.

"As you wish," mutter Sirius.

"**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen—then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner o Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight."**

"Can Professor McGonagall do magic?" asked James.

"Just read! I want to get past the boring part," said Sirius.

"**What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light."**

Lily laughed. "How can seeing a map or not be the trick of the light? I agree with Remus- the cat _is _McGonagall."

"Well," said Sirius, "if certain people would shut up, we could find out!"

"Oi! Now who's the snappy one?" said Remus.

"**Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the car. It stared back."**

"McGonagall's gonna win!" said Sirius!

"Now who's the one that won't shut up?" asked Lily. He huffed.

"**As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive—no, _looking _at the sign; cats couldn't read maps _or _signs."**

"McGonagall can," mumbled Sirius. James grinned at the annoyed look on Lily's face.

"Hey!" said Lily. "Whose side are you on?" James looked at Remus.

"Don't look at me! You're the one who's been wanting Lily to go out with you-"

"OK, I'll keep reading," he said, as he turned red.

"**Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day."**

"Lily," said Remus, "what're drills?"

She sighed. "They're little pieces of metal that you screw into someone!" said Sirius. Lily started laughing.

"They're the things that is used to screw in screws."

"I don't see how that's funny," said Sirius.

"**But on the edge of tow, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People dressed in cloaks."**

"Hey! We're not funny!" said James.

"Yes you are," said Lily.

"You know," said Remus, "you wear cloaks to, Lily."

"Yes? And your point it?"

"That would mean you're funny, too."

"Oh," she blushed.

"Do you want to read, Remus?" asked James.

"Why?"

"I'm getting bored of reading. I'd like to listen," he said.

"You haven't even read that far!" said Lily.

"So?"

"Fine, just give me the book!" said Remus.** "Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes-**"

"We do _not _dress funny!" said Sirius with detest. "If anyone dresses funny- it's them muggles!"

"**- the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed him fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdo's standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt- these people were obviously collecting for something… yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drill."**

At this, Remus paused.

"Why'd you stop?" asked Sirius, in a whiny voice.

"I'm startle, is all," he said, "that you could let me finish a paragraph without saying something!"

AN: Yes, there is more but I'm going on Vacation soon and this has been bugging me so I just sat down and wrote this. I'll see how much more I can get done.


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